Thursday, January 22, 2009

The rabbit.

Dear electronic [slightly robotic?] diary,

Our rabbit, Floppy Puff-Puff, is insane. Dorian is at work, and I'm not. Floppy is out running around the apartment, as she typically does all night, and I was playing Fallout.


I had just finished up about three quests that all had the same turn-in location, and I was feeling pretty good. I had a fresh smoke, an incredibly refreshing glass of ice water within reach, and a level-up for my character in sight.

Then Floppy took it upon herself to ruin my fun. Apparently she had grown tired of tearing ass on the carpet, peeling out on the tile, and doing huge Binkies.

No, she decided to hide under the couch and attack the back of my feet ninja style. No biting, really. Just lots of digging and head butting. So, I did the sensible thing and pulled my feet off the floor so I could sit 'indian' style on the couch.

You would think it would end there. You really would. Well, you're wrong. For the most part, while she's out doing her thing she has access to a bowl full of mixed veggies and fruit. Well, in an apparent fit of rage, she zoomed out from under the couch and proceeded to do a kamikaze binky right into her food bowl, shooting bits of apple, carrot and broccoli every where.

Did it stop there?

Of course not.

She then ran around the couch, thumping her back foot as she went. When a rabbit thumps, it's generally a sign of fear, frustration, or anger. I'm going to assume that these thumps were a combination of the last two. Anyway, I can take a hint. I paused the game and got down on the carpet. This usually means that it's play time.

Oh no. Not tonight. No fucking way. Floppy means business.

So there I am, laying on my stomach, arms stretched out, fingers wiggling, and what does she do? Zooms under the couch, then back out, runs up my back, scratches the shit out of my neck and head, and does this big sloppy binky right onto the surge protector that my 360 is plugged into.

Did she get shocked? Thankfully, no. Unplug anything? Nope. Hit the fucking power switch? You bet.

So, yeah. I had to revert to my last auto-save. Which meant I had to re-do two out of the three quests that I had just completed.

I was less than thrilled. And floppy? Pleased as punch. She did one of her overly-dramatic "Oh god, I'm just so bored" flops onto the carpet, and as far as I can tell, went to sleep.

Jesus Christ.

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