Sunday, January 18, 2009

Dear Diary,

Tonight Dorian made me so mad*. Now, don't get me wrong here, folks. I'm a fucking gentleman. I wanted to poke her guts. Hide the salami. Give her a hot beef injection.

...You know, make love. So, I was pawing at her breasts like the sex-craved animal that I am, and she shut me down. I mean, do I not have needs? Am I not human?

Sometimes I think she just doesn't get it. Maybe I'll switch my masturbation routine from when she's sleeping to when she's in the next room, wide awake. Maybe then my sorrowful, frustration-fueled fap-fap-fapping well let her know that my needs are not being met.

...Just kidding. She wears me out. What a tigress.

* I originally typed 'bad'. Obviously, that doesn't make sense. You know what else doesn't make sense? The god damned spellcheck that blogspot uses. Apparently it denies the existence of contractions. Fuck you, spell check.

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